Economic Turmoil Reminds Us…

What Kind of Role Models are we? 

Today’s chaotic economy has led many families into a restructuring and reorganizing of their own. Because the rate at which people are losing jobs does not seem to be improving yet, this reorganization is likely to continue for some time to come. We, as adults, are, as the saying goes, “doing the best we can” as breadwinners, but are we truly doing the best we can as role models?

The downturn of the economy has reached farther than many of us expected. We thought we had stable jobs. We thought we had enough money saved to make it in case the worst happened. We thought we could keep things together while a transition took place. But what we didn’t think about was how these changes—subtle or gross—would affect our kids. Did we tell them the nation was in trouble? Did we tell them that when the money ceases to come in, they would feel it? Did we promise them we could deliver certain things always that suddenly, we are unable to deliver? Have we created and perpetuated a façade that only now we realize had no foundation? And are we allowing them to continue in fear of what is going on?

These and many more questions are arising each day. The numbers of job-loss each month are staggering and although we have heard about it for months, they have suddenly become more personal, and a lot closer to home. Now, it’s not just in the news, it’s in the neighborhood. Now it is more obvious than ever that we are connected; that we are part of the greater unity of humanity. What happens “out there” can also happen “in here.” Are we modeling this for our kids? Are we teaching the things that are important in life with regards to character, charity, social responsibility, and the idea of all of us as part of one?

Many children are suddenly the witnesses of parents who are home when before, they worked; or of a parent gone away for work when before, they were at home. Other children are seeing the adverse effects of turmoil in the forms of arguing, emotional absence, despondency, increased use of alcohol or other drugs, agitation, or depression. Many of these children, through no one’s fault, will internalize the changes that adults are going through. They will begin to feel as though they are responsible for the changes. It is imperative that adults talk to the kids about what is going on.

Many adults will remain in denial of sorts through the loss and transition of careers and jobs. They will attempt to maintain the status quo they have created for kids which goes against what their better judgment tells them in order to protect the child. This seems like a fair thing to do, but the lack of integrity it takes to play this particular part is not likely to be a position most responsible adults care to model. Adversely, this approach could also turn around in a particularly stressful time. (For example, a child becomes somewhat insistent upon a certain purchase that before, you provided. If you have not explained the changes, that child could then become reactionary toward you, and you can then say some inappropriate things in response that will further exacerbate the confusion.)

There is no secret formula that will enable all kids and all families to handle the changes being issued during these tough economic times, but there are a few things that absolutely must be modeled for our kids.

Kids of all ages need to know that the parents are communicating honestly and openly with one another in hopes of achieving a suitable outcome for all involved. These kids should be talked to and explained of the challenges the family is being faced with. Many adults think it’s nothing to concern a child over and although they do not need to know the dollars and cents version of the truth, they do need to know things they can understand (like the fact that little Billy will not be able to attend six weeks of summer camp this year).

As adults, it is our responsibility to make sure our children can see how our decrease of travel plans for the summer impacts the companies who cater to travelers; how our slowing down of spending on frivolous items contributes to the retail industry having to fire its extra employees; how the major automobile industry is impacted when the economy goes into a downward spiral. It is through this linking of cause and effect can we then introduce the very difficult concept to our children: We are all connected.

Even without an economically perilous time, we can encourage children to see the greater whole by explaining to them just how many people must be involved in order for us to receive the products we are able to purchase. From the workers in whatever type of factory, to the food producers who help sustain the health of those workers to those workers’ mode of transportation, then all the way to the shipping of our coveted item to the stores where we then can purchase it only after it has been unloaded, unboxed, and placed on shelves or racks by the local workers in that store. We can further explain our connections with any item we own.

With a basic explanation of such things, perhaps we, too, can begin to understand just how indelibly connected we all are.

After all, wasn’t it John Donne back in the 1600s who advised us all not to worry about who the bell of death was ringing for, because when one dies, each of us is affected in some way? And then, wasn’t it Martin Luther King, Jr. who reiterated those same words during the tumultuous years of his Civil Rights plight in hopes of showing the nation that if they allowed such injustices to continue, they are allowing a part of themselves to participate?

When things are going well, no one cares to make any changes. It is just simply the way life is. But during times when all we know is being challenged, and all that we thought was stable is suddenly now rickety, shouldn’t we begin to try to see things as they really are? It’s like the world upon which we have attempted to create our reality is suddenly revealing itself and its true nature. Are we going to pretend that it is alright? Will we perpetuate the story of the elephant in the room that no one is talking about? Or are we going to step up and see what needs to change, what needs to be addressed, what needs to be modeled for our kids so that we can ensure a more evolved tomorrow?

Yes, I have to say that today more than ever I can see pieces of me in parts of you. And I can say also that because I see pieces of me in parts of you, I care more for you than I thought I did. And because I care for me, I care for you. And when I am kind and loving to you, I reap the rewards. The bonus here is that if I can just teach my kids this at 15 and 11, and if they can begin to believe it and act in this way, just imagine how much better my family, this neighborhood, this city, state, nation, and world will be by the time they are my age. Indeed we are all so indelibly connected!

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