Post-Christian America? Secular Spirituality?

Today I explore a topic I believe is motivating people here in the US. I want to see just what the term post-Christian really means and how that affects (and offends) people who are Christian. Today I want to ask, “What does it mean to be Christian?” And then, “What does being post-Christian mean?”

To be a Christian, one has to believe in Christ? Is that it? Surely people have different understandings of what Christianity means. People disagree on the precise meaning, which is why there are Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox churches. And then within those “main” churches of Christianity there are many sects, but to believe in Jesus as the Christ is one part that is unanimous. So what does it mean to be Christian? And does one have to believe whole-heartedly that the Bible is the direct word of God? Does one have to believe that the only way to God is through Jesus?

Let’s say that Christianity entails the belief in Jesus as the only Lord and Savior. He is the biological son of God, the truth, the light, and the way, and the only way to eternal salvation. Let’s say that to be a Christian, one must feel a full conviction that the tenets are true and real and cannot be compromised. Let’s say it’s the only avenue to heaven and away from hell. Let’s also add the idea that the commandments are law and must be adhered to, and the Bible is the exact, precise guidelines for life.

Post-Christian … The prefix post- means after.

After what? After one realizes those tenets just might possibly be incomplete or unfinished? Or does “after” mean “a response to” Christianity?

People of many organized churches are in an uproar all over the US because President Obama has stated or implied that his intent is to move toward a more secular America. People have heard him refer to America as post-Christian and many do not like it. People claim our country is still a Christian America, they profess to be Christian, they say they practice Christianity all while they are condemning others for being non-Christian, speaking negatively about our president, practicing intolerance, exclusivity, and blaming others for the current state of the economy.

If Christianity is a religion based on the teachings of Jesus as the Christ, then what has happened? Where are the compassion, humility, and love that Jesus displayed? These are the same behaviors and actions that each person is thought to strive toward and emulate as he or she becomes closer in the relationship with Jesus and through Jesus, with God. Did He really want us to proselytize everyone toward Christianity while telling them their beliefs are not good enough to get them into what Christians call heaven? Did he mean that? Or has man messed that one up too? Did he really mean that non-Christians cannot experience God because they do not know Jesus personally? And how does a Christian really know that a non-Christian cannot know God? Isn’t that judgment and exclusion?

And are there theologians all over the world who can honestly say that they do not doubt, question or wonder if Jesus was truly the biological son of a formless form? Are there preachers, pastors, rectors, priests, and the like who also have some question of the literal truth expressed in the holy book? Does that make them less Christian? Is being Christian “all or none” or can one truly pick and choose and still be Christian? And don’t we all know someone who lives from a place of love, compassion, selfless service, and humility but does not believe that Jesus was born of a virgin who was impregnated by the formless form of and the only way to God? And that person acts more like Jesus than many of the most well-known political spokespersons of the religious right? Can we love our family member who is gay while telling them being gay is wrong, while telling them they will not make it into heaven behaving in that way?

What if post-Christian means we have moved past the basic tenets of Christianity and are in the midst of modifying what it all means to us on a more personal level, outside the confines of the doctrine? What if we are updating the old Christian thought, bringing it into the twenty-first century so that we can move forward into inclusivity and away from exclusivity? What if post-Christian is a sign of the evolution of mankind, a symbol of our willingness to open our minds and hearts to include even those who do not have the same beliefs as us? And what if this post-Christian position that President Obama is taking is one step closer to a truly secular society? Would that be a bad thing?

And what does it mean to be secular? Isn’t it a movement away from things religious?

If religions exclude those who don’t believe as the tenets prescribe, wouldn’t it be kinder, more Christ-like to drop those tenets of religion in order to better include more people? Or perhaps even modify the tenets just a bit?

What if people have expanded their own thinking to include the idea that all people do not see things exactly the same? What if in this expanded thinking, people have begun to realize that culture, society, personal experiences, and family upbringing has caused shifts in understandings and simply because one wasn’t taught to believe in a certain religion, it doesn’t mean they are less connected with God (as they understand God to be) or less interested in living a Christ-like life?

What if this is what is meant by post-Christian?

What if post-Christian means that Americans are beginning to identify themselves less with religion and more with spirituality? And what if their spirituality transcends the framework of religion? What if the new spirituality that has moved away from religion is a secular spirituality? Does that make us, as a nation, any worse off? Does being post-Christian really sound bad now?

And what if, in this movement away from limited religion and toward limitless spirituality, more people are able to embrace differences, connect more personally with God as they understand God to be, and to extend love, gratitude, and compassion more openly and honestly? What if this new secular spirituality encouraged each person to explore the infinite questions of humanity without truly needing answers, motivated each person to realize his/her own highest self, caused shifts within that opened the way of the soul? Would being post-Christian be a negative label?

What if the non-Christians of this nation are a growing population and are ready to try and share their views with Christians? And what if their views include having a personal relationship with the divine? And what if they encouraged each person to live from the soul? Would being post-Christian really be a bad thing?

According to the fear-based society and media alive and well within our free country, any assertion toward the idea of President Obama aiding the US in a movement beyond Christianity is taken as a complete and utter proclamation that Christianity is dead. And many go so far as to claim our president as the anti-Christ. This is simply not true. Nor does it imply that another religion will take over as the leading religion in America. President Obama is simply stating (just as our forefathers did) that we are free to worship in any way we choose, through whatever religion fits us best. What President Obama means here is that within the government and its policies, religion does not belong because that would not appropriately represent all people. What President Obama is trying to do is move us toward the secular society that was intended when our forefathers declared there should be a separation of church and state.

When we are advanced enough to sit side by side at tables with multiple religions present and discuss our individual ownership and responsibilities as human beings within the analyzing of the nation’s problems, without accusing one or the other as being the “cause” or suggesting that the “wrong” belief is the problem, then that will be a wonderful day of celebration.

When we are all able to see ourselves as spiritual beings without the confines and constructs of religion blurring our understanding of the divine, we will be an advanced society. When we choose to stop reading all media-driven information aimed at perpetuating exclusivity or asserting one people, religion, race, etc. is higher or more important than the next and begin to think for ourselves, we will be in a better place. When we stop believing that we are being discriminated against by people in our lives and begin to understand how our thoughts are projected on to those around us, we will begin to change our thought patterns. When we wake up and realize we are connected to one another in more ways than we realize today, we will begin to treat others with a bit more respect. When we stop labeling people according to the roles they play and see them exactly as we are (spiritual beings on a quest, stuck in human bodies for this lifetime), then we will begin to understand the true nature of our own existence.

And until then, must we bicker over whether it is better to be Christian or post-Christian?

Collective Consciousness at Work

Am I crazy? Or am I most sane?

These are questions I tend to ask myself on days like this. After a string of coincidental occurrences, my mind travels to the idea of a collective consciousness among us, running the show on many levels. I see a Facebook post, which prompts an informative discussion about trends in the U.S. which resemble trends in Nazi Germany. Then I read in a spirituality book about how even the Germans felt something was amiss with Hitler as their leader but they were happy with change; their economic depression had finally seen recovery. Then as I express my curiosity about the collective consciousness (from here on, let’s refer to it as c.c.), I am recognizing that simultaneously people around me (who do not know each other) are seeing truths revealed through dreams.

As an explorer of dreams and of awareness, I am drawn to the revelations that dreams often hold. I am curious about the dreamer and what he/she sees as the relevance of each recalled vision. And as a believer in the idea that we are all part of one continuous whole, each holding a part and parcel that is connected with others, I see yet more similarities I hope to explore. So I have food for thought as I set out for my walk.

Upon the first few hundred yards, my mind is racing about the media, the government, religion, and society and how all of those run their businesses based on fear. Fear of consequences, fear of not matching up to others, fear of being less than what the media suggests is “normal or average” and the like. At the same time, I am recalling yet another Facebook post that states something about love and fear not being able to exist in the same space. Surely these are all related, because, as I stated before, there is a string of coincidental occurrences surrounding me today. And what has this to do with c.c.?

I want to explore first the c.c. I recall from my earlier studies of psychology that the collective consciousness is a sort of system that is in place amongst individuals that make up a society’s beliefs; it sort of works as a behind-the-scenes unifying force (for lack of a better definition).  And then I also recollect the fact that many different people make discoveries and researching breakthroughs at about the same time in far-removed areas of the world with absolutely no knowledge of one another. And I also think of how the earliest religions came to be, not so much as a response to other religions as they sprung up, but as a result of a divine message from the deity they looked to for answers.

Now I must go into c.c. just a bit more: What if we all share a common degree of consciousness that allows for some of us to think the same things at the same time without knowing why or how it works? What if we share the same inspiration from some energy force somewhere that urges us to do certain things at about the same time? What if people in different parts of the world have the same ideas at the same time? What if we had the idea to start a particular business but were unable to act upon it and yet, someone in the same area did act upon it and within a couple of months, brought it to fruition? Is this all coincidental? And do these people share anything that they are consciously aware of? Why the coincidences? Is this why we long for the same thing? Is this why most of us explore a lot of the same questions?

I next must mention prayer, meditation, and energy fields. Prayer has traditionally been associated with a deity. The word in and of itself is simply “to ask earnestly” for something. Meditation is “deep, continued thought.” And to think is “to exercise the mental faculties so as to form ideas, and arrive at conclusions.” If we ask for something, are we not generating and activating some type of energy current? And if we meditate, are we not also activating energy currents?

We, as a society, do not like to think do we? We would rather someone tell us what to think and how to think than to decide for ourselves. Is this normal? We teach our kids not to think but to do as we say. We would rather be told what to do than to decide what is best for us. And unfortunately, this takes us right into the media and the government. (Believe me, it will all link back to the c.c. in a moment.)

If we do not allow time to meditate, to think and ponder for ourselves, we are unaware of what we think and are certainly more unaware of how we think it. And if we buy into the “tapes” that run through our brains without thinking of what they are saying, we are agreeing with the c.c. If we believe we have an understanding of what we see as our higher power through religion, we are categorically advised not to ask a lot of questions and to simply trust in faith. Trust and faith are both related loosely to the unquestioning belief of the truth of something. When we do not question, we do not get to think (form ideas, arrive at conclusions). If we do not question what the media is up to, what our government means by a particular law, or why something doesn’t feel right at church, aren’t we denying ourselves the opportunity to think? And if we do not allow our kids to question us, aren’t we just perpetuating this mess?

If we each have a certain amount of all of this going on in our lives, aren’t we seeing a bit of the c.c. at work? And how the c.c. established?

What if we are not asking questions at all? What if we never deviate from what our habitual activities and sayings dictate to us (which quite possibly are the same ones we observed from our parents or are observing from our neighbors)? We are not engaging in thinking then are we? And what if those habitual sayings and activities have roots that are a bit deeper than what we recognize and know and claim? What if they are the tapes that are running in our heads? The self-talk, the negatives, the doubts, and the insecurities that we never really think about, yet we hear them continuously could be shaping how we see the world. What we think and how we think it shapes the perspective of the world around us.

What if we are filling our heads with all that we see on the news as the truth instead of what they are: a biased account of the event? It is someone’s perspective that they arrived at in order to make it sound more interesting to you. What if we are allowing ourselves to be sucked into the television for hours of programming that hopes to cash in our unthinking majority, thereby reinforcing the tapes in our heads? What of our c.c. then?

What if the media is an example of what our c.c. as a nation is saying?

Think of that for a moment. What if the media is an example of what our collective consciousness says about us? If that is so, we are so deeply entrenched in fear that we truly do not know how to think for ourselves nor do we know that we even have anyplace within to turn for answers.

And that is scary.

We are all connected. We all share a commonality that cannot be denied. We are all humans, we are alive on a common planet, and we want to escape from suffering. If we have no other similarities on a personal level, we all share these. We must also begin to realize that we have a shared consciousness that drives society. This c.c. is not something from which we can totally escape but it is something we can begin to shift. If the c.c. contains a negative energy, and when we think of it, we realize we are opposed to that, let’s shift it. Let’s elevate the consciousness of this nation and this planet by changing the way we experience it. The only way to do that is to begin to think again.

The way we can begin to think again is to update our beliefs. If we find ourselves being sucked into hours of broadcasting, let’s ask ourselves something like this: am I more complete upon watching this? Does it make me feel better about myself and my family? Does it affirm that I am a good person? And if you are somewhat displeased or perplexed over the answers you get, don’t be surprised because it might be the first time you have ever asked such questions.

If we believe we are most complete when we are watching television, let’s search for answers of why this is so. Why would we want to avoid interactions with our family members? Why would we choose to disengage our brains and watch mindless drama or crude, degrading comedy? What scares us about thinking? We may just be surprised when we allow the space for the answers to appear.

If you no longer like the direction our society is headed, you can do something to shift the consciousness and it begins with thinking. When we are once again comfortable with thinking for ourselves, then we will be comfortable again with encouraging others to think. And we will see the c.c. shift into a much more desirable place. Once we allow ourselves to disengage from the negative and fear-based activities such as broadcasting, we can see that what their messages are do not represent us any more. And when we can step back and ask ourselves with honesty and openness, we can all truly realize the truth in this: we do not approve of where a lot of our society is headed.

If we truly do not approve, it is up to us—you and me—to shift our own thoughts and beliefs right now, today. If I embrace a more positive perspective today, aspire to become more aware, strive to lift up myself and those around me, and with intention shift my thoughts away from how terrible society is and toward what a wonderful time to be alive, then I am shifting the collective consciousness. If I will focus no longer on what is wrong but on what is right with the world, I will increase the positive portions of the collective consciousness. If I can unlock myself from the unthinking majority and be an inspiration to others who feel a creative nudge, we, together, will make considerable shifts in this collective consciousness.

In closing I must ask yet again, Am I crazy? Or am I most sane?

Economic Turmoil Reminds Us…

What Kind of Role Models are we? 

Today’s chaotic economy has led many families into a restructuring and reorganizing of their own. Because the rate at which people are losing jobs does not seem to be improving yet, this reorganization is likely to continue for some time to come. We, as adults, are, as the saying goes, “doing the best we can” as breadwinners, but are we truly doing the best we can as role models?

The downturn of the economy has reached farther than many of us expected. We thought we had stable jobs. We thought we had enough money saved to make it in case the worst happened. We thought we could keep things together while a transition took place. But what we didn’t think about was how these changes—subtle or gross—would affect our kids. Did we tell them the nation was in trouble? Did we tell them that when the money ceases to come in, they would feel it? Did we promise them we could deliver certain things always that suddenly, we are unable to deliver? Have we created and perpetuated a façade that only now we realize had no foundation? And are we allowing them to continue in fear of what is going on?

These and many more questions are arising each day. The numbers of job-loss each month are staggering and although we have heard about it for months, they have suddenly become more personal, and a lot closer to home. Now, it’s not just in the news, it’s in the neighborhood. Now it is more obvious than ever that we are connected; that we are part of the greater unity of humanity. What happens “out there” can also happen “in here.” Are we modeling this for our kids? Are we teaching the things that are important in life with regards to character, charity, social responsibility, and the idea of all of us as part of one?

Many children are suddenly the witnesses of parents who are home when before, they worked; or of a parent gone away for work when before, they were at home. Other children are seeing the adverse effects of turmoil in the forms of arguing, emotional absence, despondency, increased use of alcohol or other drugs, agitation, or depression. Many of these children, through no one’s fault, will internalize the changes that adults are going through. They will begin to feel as though they are responsible for the changes. It is imperative that adults talk to the kids about what is going on.

Many adults will remain in denial of sorts through the loss and transition of careers and jobs. They will attempt to maintain the status quo they have created for kids which goes against what their better judgment tells them in order to protect the child. This seems like a fair thing to do, but the lack of integrity it takes to play this particular part is not likely to be a position most responsible adults care to model. Adversely, this approach could also turn around in a particularly stressful time. (For example, a child becomes somewhat insistent upon a certain purchase that before, you provided. If you have not explained the changes, that child could then become reactionary toward you, and you can then say some inappropriate things in response that will further exacerbate the confusion.)

There is no secret formula that will enable all kids and all families to handle the changes being issued during these tough economic times, but there are a few things that absolutely must be modeled for our kids.

Kids of all ages need to know that the parents are communicating honestly and openly with one another in hopes of achieving a suitable outcome for all involved. These kids should be talked to and explained of the challenges the family is being faced with. Many adults think it’s nothing to concern a child over and although they do not need to know the dollars and cents version of the truth, they do need to know things they can understand (like the fact that little Billy will not be able to attend six weeks of summer camp this year).

As adults, it is our responsibility to make sure our children can see how our decrease of travel plans for the summer impacts the companies who cater to travelers; how our slowing down of spending on frivolous items contributes to the retail industry having to fire its extra employees; how the major automobile industry is impacted when the economy goes into a downward spiral. It is through this linking of cause and effect can we then introduce the very difficult concept to our children: We are all connected.

Even without an economically perilous time, we can encourage children to see the greater whole by explaining to them just how many people must be involved in order for us to receive the products we are able to purchase. From the workers in whatever type of factory, to the food producers who help sustain the health of those workers to those workers’ mode of transportation, then all the way to the shipping of our coveted item to the stores where we then can purchase it only after it has been unloaded, unboxed, and placed on shelves or racks by the local workers in that store. We can further explain our connections with any item we own.

With a basic explanation of such things, perhaps we, too, can begin to understand just how indelibly connected we all are.

After all, wasn’t it John Donne back in the 1600s who advised us all not to worry about who the bell of death was ringing for, because when one dies, each of us is affected in some way? And then, wasn’t it Martin Luther King, Jr. who reiterated those same words during the tumultuous years of his Civil Rights plight in hopes of showing the nation that if they allowed such injustices to continue, they are allowing a part of themselves to participate?

When things are going well, no one cares to make any changes. It is just simply the way life is. But during times when all we know is being challenged, and all that we thought was stable is suddenly now rickety, shouldn’t we begin to try to see things as they really are? It’s like the world upon which we have attempted to create our reality is suddenly revealing itself and its true nature. Are we going to pretend that it is alright? Will we perpetuate the story of the elephant in the room that no one is talking about? Or are we going to step up and see what needs to change, what needs to be addressed, what needs to be modeled for our kids so that we can ensure a more evolved tomorrow?

Yes, I have to say that today more than ever I can see pieces of me in parts of you. And I can say also that because I see pieces of me in parts of you, I care more for you than I thought I did. And because I care for me, I care for you. And when I am kind and loving to you, I reap the rewards. The bonus here is that if I can just teach my kids this at 15 and 11, and if they can begin to believe it and act in this way, just imagine how much better my family, this neighborhood, this city, state, nation, and world will be by the time they are my age. Indeed we are all so indelibly connected!

Naturally Creative

What do we—women—have in common? What makes us women? Anatomically, it’s the structure of the body. Although some do not function as they were designed, we were (except a few) all born with ovaries. And all of us know that having ovaries makes having a child a possibility. We also know that these days there are many factors that take away that opportunity but for arguments’ sake, we have ovaries, and are therefore women. Ovaries release eggs. And yes, some ovaries do not function correctly but that is not the point, ovaries—the egg releasing part of our womanhood—allows for the possibility of life. It is a natural creative impulse on the part of the woman from puberty to menopause to create life.

Each month, almost like clockwork, an egg or so is released. It’s pretty amazing stuff. We cannot ask for the release or the lack of. We cannot stimulate ourselves to provoke the release, it just happens, each month for about thirty-plus years. This always makes me proud to be a woman. It’s simply a beautiful concept.

I am not trying to say that men do not have a big part in creating life; we all know that isn’t possible except in a couple of species. I am simply saying they create life at will. We create naturally; just as naturally as anything else in the animal and plant kingdom: without provocation.

Without going into a philosophy, tradition, or religion, let’s just say that whatever a person calls whatever it is they believe is divine, is alive and well in all of us and is the reason for our consistent egg-releasing creativity. Just go with me on this. Let’s say that the same energy that makes the egg factory predictable and consistent is the same energy that causes us to say, “Hey, I have an idea.” And let’s just say that the same energy that nudges us to follow an idea is the same energy that urges us to write, to paint, to scrapbook, to make something that just moments before did not exist. Are you with me so far?

Now let’s just say that the same energy (and fill in the name of your favorite deity here) that exists within you exists within me and within everything else on this earth from menial fungus to the most celebrated creative genius. The creative impulse is alive and well within every single thing that lives.

Women are naturally more of a creative conduit. Can we agree on that? Because it is within our very being, the anatomical structure of what makes us women, to create. We can stop it with birth control, but it is unnatural to NOT ovulate during those thirty or so years. To ovulate is to produce the potential for life. So we are naturally creative beings.

Because we cannot truly embrace this creative nature about ourselves as both women and men, we get confused when the stir comes from within to create. Natural responses to the urge to create vary from the urge to engage in sex to longing for a child to restlessness within a career or relationship. But because we don’t teach it and it wasn’t taught to us, we cannot recognize this impulse.

The creative impulse is shared by everyone. If you call it God, call it God. That same energy, the life force, wants to create. Men have the same creative urges, but they more or less have an ability to control the urge. Men choose, or allow themselves, to become excited sexually, in order to create the possibility for sperm release.

The very same call to create is alive within each of us; sometime by will, and sometimes by nature. Whether we are talking about creating a recipe for supper based on the ingredients we have or we are talking about creating a Fortune 500 company based on a simple concept matters not, the creative impulse is part of who we are.

We snuff out things about ourselves that we believe “shouldn’t” be there, because we think they will not fit into our schedules, our societal roles, or what we believe to be right. We choose birth control to stop the potential creation of life. We choose to ignore the desire to be a musician because society tells us we could never make a living that way. We choose to drop out of the pottery class because something in our brains says it’s a silly waste of time. We choose to let an idea go because we cannot afford to go pursue such a far-fetched dream of creating a new company out of nothing. Creativity is natural and we go against nature to ignore the creative impulse.

What if we allowed ourselves to create more? What if, just as the egg is released each month, we allowed creativity to flow more freely through us whenever it was sparked to do so? And what if, within that allowing of the creative flow, we found out that we weren’t meant for this particular job or that particular relationship? And as a result, what if we truly listened to that energy, that life force that is deep within? And what if, because we listened to that whisper and made changes that would then allow for the flow of creativity to become undammed, and then we began living fuller lives? Would that really be so bad?

The creative impulse is what is alive and well within each of us, and it is what will allow us to move forward on this evolutionary track toward greater consciousness. Our job now, as women and creators, as nurturers and as sisters, is to recognize our creativity within and honor it, thereby exemplifying to our daughters and granddaughters that we must follow the nudge that comes from the deepest part of ourselves.

“No” to Religion; “Yes” to Spirituality!

Approaching religious holidays always perplexes me. As if I am some sort of an imposter, I half-heartedly participate in their secular (not religious) traditions that occupy the space of those special days. Simply put, I cannot understand it all.

 

I cannot imagine all the religions adept with its peoples truly fathom the scope of what their traditions mean or entail. I have a hard time believing all the followers believe and follow what their holy books teach without some trepidation. I long for a community of people like me but I am afraid they are too afraid and timid to openly question or make a move which would ostracize them or their families.

 

It is with Easter around the corner that I ponder my place in faith, religion, spirituality and secularism. It is with a complete and total belief that my understanding of the big picture here is more accurate than the religions can profess and substantiate. It is here that I choose to blather on and on.

 

I have friends of the Greek Orthodox religion that are so proud that it has not changed one bit in all the years of its existence. I hear tell of what certain holy day services are like which are told with great pride and enthusiasm. I wonder what is wrong with me to think their rituals are bizarre. They cannot understand the other religions and they think theirs is extremely misunderstood.

 

More than anything else, I have friends who actually believe that Jesus was the biological son of God, born to a virgin, who died for our sins, and came back to life. These are tenets that, if followed, prove some degree of Christianity; a title I can not, nor have ever been able to wear.

 

I cannot delve into the many religions with blurbs of each because I, quite candidly, see religion as wrong in all accounts. I refuse to learn about them all because I think it terribly and dangerously misguides people all over the world.

 

The tradition I enjoy reading about and can relate to is Buddhism. I call it tradition instead of religion because there is no deity to look to. No need to follow any holy books, either. It is all about going within for answers.

 

Jesus was one fabulous and well-prepared man for this earth. He was needed, desire, requested even, and he showed up. There isn’t a single bit of that I would argue. And that he died for our sins, I can understand as well. He was an enlightened man, I am sure. He meant to teach others to be like him in following God, but those who recorded his (and God’s) messages are the ones who really screwed things up. Out of fear, they created something that would perpetuate and snowball.

 

In order for me to go any further without losing you completely, let me just say that I do believe in God. He is not a “He” and does not reside in heaven or anywhere else that can be pointed to. God’s existence is in the form of energy. Any place you see or sense energy is God’s presence. I believe that God’s name has been overused and misused and I cannot with good conscience call what I believe is the same thing you may refer to as God—God. I call it the universe.

 

The term universe imparts the vast and extending existence of immeasurable space doesn’t it? Of heavenly bodies, of intergalactic possibilities, of black holes that we cannot truly understand, of solar systems and of having a center but no measure of the end of it. And probably most importantly, the fact that it unfolds to be greater and greater with each new discovery. That is exactly how I see your God, my universe. We can never fully articulate the scope and presence but we know it’s there. We are a part of it and it of us. What an incredible thought.

 

The idea that we will live a short time here and our eternity as rewards/consequences of our times is just not something that I can believe in. Just like the part about the birth and the re-life.

 

I can only speak for me.

 

I will never be able to understand fully how people can live the way they do based on the guidance and direction of those at the pulpits and in the holy books but what I can understand is a natural questioning that should take place, a dignified discussion of the possibilities and what if’s.

 

Belittling religions is not anything I am interested in doing either. I refuse to condemn the beliefs of an individual if they have truly researched them and they are convicted of their truths. I would never attempt to show them there is another way. The online communities which share blasphemous anecdotes do not get my reading time. There is no reason to put someone down or disrespect them in order to feel better about another belief system or lack thereof.

 

My rant is coming near a close.

 

Spirituality, for me, means the direct relationship with what it is a person perceives as divine and infinite in the world. It is the behind-the-scenes energy taking place within and because of our relationships and interactions on this earth and in this existence. It has nothing to do with religion.

 

Religion is a man made myth which was constructed to explain something that we could not have understood at the time of their inceptions. Religion happened in hopes of explaining spirituality and in order to control people in societies that were barbaric and unethical. It served the purpose of the times but we quickly outgrew it. It’s time to update religion.

 

We are at a wonderful crossroads now. We absolutely must understand the interrelated constructs that we call life. We must understand the connection we have with each other, our neighbors, and the world at large. We must begin to try and live as our enlightened predecessors taught: Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Walt Whitman, Emerson, Thoreau and many others.

 

I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I know that there are many others with a distaste for organized religion, for the publicized misuse of churches and funds, for the carelessly tossed about references to God with little backing. I know there are church-goers, Christians even, who want to expand the doctrine so they are allowed to love and support their gay friends and family members. I believe many others feel there is so much more to life and yet they are afraid to explore it outside the confines of the religious box.

 

My understanding of what you call God continues to lead me daily. The energy and guidance I receive is powerful and I have full faith that I am doing exactly what I was meant to do at this particular time. I listen to dreams, intuitions, the messages I get while meditating. I know my daily interactions are part of my path. I am in this world to continue what was started so very long ago: evolution. I am here to learn, to heal, and to grow and I am going to do just that!

 

Peace to you in whatever ways you can find it.

Learning from my Teenage Son

 

 

“Mom, I do not want to talk about this right now, okay?”

 

Those words keep ringing in my ears. Since when does a kid, albeit a teenager, have the decision in the timing of discussions regarding such matters as grades? The words stunned me. I realized later that I ceased the conversation, not so much out of a desire to respect his wishes (or command), but more because it fazed me so. How had I possibly allowed this fifteen year old to be in charge of what we would and would not discuss?

 

Then my mind took me to a dozen different places: my own parents’ reactions to such a statement would not have ended in silence; his dad’s response may have included screeching tires and stopping the vehicle; all the things I might say to remind him he does not have the authority to tell his mother what he will and will not discuss; the underlying reason he wished the conversation would end and many more. My silence respected his request while I tried to figure out how I got to the point in my own parenting life where I allowed him to call the shots.

 

I know it’s not the years I spent studying psychology and/or sociology and applying principles into daily life; it couldn’t be the years I spent as a high school teacher who saw the daily hormonal ebb and flow of many boys, each of which caused me to secretly swear I would never allow my son to do any of those things; the fact that I understand a lot of the underlying pushes and pulls of the soul of an individual would certainly not explain my silence; and respecting the individual beside me who did not want to discuss a certain topic was absolutely not the reason I fell still. It was strictly shock.

 

Had I been too lenient with him all these years? Had I been wrong to tell him to speak up and not let people push him to a place where he buries his feelings? I have explained things his whole life—over-explained a lot I am sure—and until now, I never saw a negative consequence. Did he speak to his teachers like this? Or was this even disrespect I was picking up on? Or could it be that with me he felt safe to say exactly what he wanted to say?

 

The moments between his statement and his exiting my vehicle were far from hushed in my brain and the space between us was thick with tension. As if I could hear him saying to himself, “What the crap did you just say to your mom?” I remained silent. He took leave with the automated, “See ya later” reply and I went back to by conscience.

 

For days this encounter would prove to be the source of many returns (very much like the way the hand automatically returns to touch an injury). I repeatedly asked myself if it was handled correctly, if the way I responded gave him the power, and if I could have done anything better in the moment.

 

Through a great deal of thought and energy I realized (or reminded myself) that I’d shed the need to always appear in control long ago; I no longer acted from a place of knee-jerk reactions but chose my responses prior to speaking; I honored who he was in that moment, having had the courage to be honest and say what he did instead of turning my voice and my lecture into the incomprehensible Charlie Brown’s teacher-talk. Through the analyzing of the conversation, or rather the ceasing of it, it occurred to me that my son had grown into a young man who simply wasn’t afraid to tell me how he felt and for that, I certainly will boast a bit of pride.

 

I am one who believes people and situations are invited into lives in order for growth to occur. (I do realize accidents happen but if we all applied the idea that perhaps there was something in life that needed addressing, and the accident will help us to address it, I think we would all be better people.) With that having been said, I returned to our relationship and asked myself, “What am I supposed to learn here?”

 

This young man is both a challenge and a joy. I love that he is confident enough with himself to wear whatever he chooses to wear and listen to the kind of music he loves. The challenge comes in the area of his spoken desire for tattoos and piercings. “Nothing permanent” is sort of my motto. I tell him that he will not like the same things at 25 that he likes at 15 but of course, what do I know? I am only the mom. His desire to go into the music industry is nerve-wracking at best especially since he does not play an instrument and does very little to learn the business-side (besides how much it costs for tickets at the doors of the shows). I look around at the peers who he attends school with and they are cookie-cutter molds of the beauties who model for the overpriced mall stores. You know the ones. These kids are the ones who concern me. Are they really who they are dressed up to be? Is that really who they are? Or are they so worried they won’t be accepted for who they are that they pretend to be just like everyone else so they blend in with the crowd? For my son’s audacious choice in clothing, I defend his interest and right to be an individual, to question the masses, and to speak up for what he likes and does not like.

 

And all of that brings me back to my questions of what is supposed to be learned? I can’t help but return to the statement—no the command—that continues to ring in my ears, “Mom, I really don’t want to talk about that right now.” Is it patience I am being taught? Is it understanding that I lack? Is this a lesson in unconditional love? Is it some intricate combination of all the above? When I look at it like this, I realize there is growth within me going on with every battle we have, have had, and will have. And it really does not seem so bad? I like growing and learning! So, with that in mind: Fire away son, I am ready for the next one!

Laurie is a freelance writer who lives in Trussville, AL with her two kids and four dogs (while her husband works in Baghdad). Her first book, Journal to the Center of the Soul, will be released in late spring. More information about her can be found at her business site www.WritingbyKnight.com. 

What Dogs Taught Me

Nine years ago when our family got our first dog, I never could have imagined the number of lessons he (and eventually they) would be able to teach me or my family about love, about connection and about responsibility.

You see, I was one of those kids whose parents didn’t think dogs were pets, much less members of the family. We never once bought dog food, took our dogs to the vet for anything more than a rabies vaccination or heartworm medication and we certainly did not let a dog inside the house! We had one dog, a German Shepherd, whose time with our family was as close to a pet as any could have been. My dad’s fondness for that dog turned into resentment and anger when the dog died and he vowed to never love another dog like that one. I simply did not have the opportunity as a child to understand the bond that could exist between humans and dogs. The rest of the dogs came and went through my childhood as neighborhood dogs with no collars, no fences and no place to truly call home.

When our kids were five and two, we opted to treat them to a canine friend. My husband had just returned from artillery training in the military and we wanted a connecting and bonding experience between all four of us. We chose a boxer, Arty (short for Artillery Howitzer Knight). He proved to be much more than a baby-sitter and quickly became our third child. He allowed our daughter to climb on him and dress him in boas and tutus. He led the way for a female counterpart for him, Clover. My husband had deployed to Afghanistan and it seemed I had so much love with no outlets so we got another dog. Not as smart but certainly as loveable as Arty, Clover quickly became just as rambunctious as he was at the same age but because we traveled a lot, they spent a great deal of time outside with trusty neighbors to stop in to feed and play with them. Clover took on the role as most-serious protector and eventually of bully.

As the kids and the dogs got older, I managed to ease out of one job and into another that afforded me more time with my dogs (and family) but what I found was certainly amazing. I found that with more time and love that I gave to them, that was replenished and replaced at astounding rates back into myself. I know it makes little sense to many people but when I loved them more fiercely, I felt more love. When I began truly having a relationship with them, talking and communicating with them, my own patience and understanding skyrocketed.

We managed to save a mixed pup from going to the pound on Christmas (while my husband was on another deployment to Iraq) and I must say that one was a beautiful blessing! Freyja did not chew things up and the boxers took her in as their own daughter. Her temperament and disposition were completely different from the others (with the barking being the only negative one). She became a wonderful blessing that quickly rivaled the other two.

And as if you think three dogs are enough, we succumbed to the wonder of a puppy once again. This one is the son of Arty, Oda. Once again we started the puppy stages with vague memories of the havoc and chaos Arty and Clover introduced us to in the terms of puppy-dom. Oda (Operation Detachment Alpha—my husband’s job in the military) began sleeping with me in the absence of my deployed (again) husband and before much time had passed, he was sixty pounds and no longer the pup I invited into the bed on those lonesome nights. With us now sleeps Freyja and Clover as well. Arty sleeps on the floor next to the bed.

I am now working from my home which affords me a lot more time with my canine kids.

What I have learned from them far exceeds what they have learned from me. I learn daily that I should welcome all interactions with my children who are now 15 and 11. I learn I should take naps when I am sleepy, run when I have energy, be on guard when strangers approach the house and snuggle up with those I love. I have also learned that when I allow my love to extend to them, I feel I have more capacity to love. I have learned to be aware of others’ feelings because they won’t always tell me what they are thinking, and to try and know what others desire or require for their own comfort and happiness.

I have also learned that when I let the boundaries of who I think I am dissolve into them, I am happier and more fulfilled because I am recognizing that we are truly connected. This has taught me to also do the same for the people in my life. When I truly allow the edges of who I think I am blur into who I think they are, we are one. And when we are one, I certainly have nothing but kindness, compassion and love for others (who are really just extensions of myself).

Thank you Arty, Clover, Freyja and Oda for teaching me how to love, really love, the people in my life.

Are We Happy?

Today I sit at the computer wondering. I wonder about people and their level of happiness, if they are truly engaging with life, and how much they believe they can or cannot control their own destinies. I don’t ask people this. Those who are closest to me give me their opinions without asking but those who aren’t close … well, I just don’t know.

Those who hate their jobs, argue constantly with their families, or decry that the world is going downhill and there’s simply nothing to do about it, are the ones who I truly wonder about. Do they believe they are happy? And if not, why don’t they do something to change this? Do something! Anything…

Life is such a beautiful thing. But shouldn’t we all try to truly live? Instead of just exist? And truly, how many people out there are really happy?

Today’s a New Day

As we approach the opening of the eyes, the climbing from bed, the stumbling in the darkness we call morning, regardless of the time of day it is, we have choices.  We can choose to have a bad day, focusing on all the things we hate to do or even the terrible circumstances that have appeared in our lives; or we can look around us and count our blessings. Even if we are grieving over losses, we have plenty to be thankful for. And if we hate our current situations and stations in life, we have the power and the ability to change them! Today, I ask for all people everywhere to show some gratitude for all that exists and for all that they are involved in. We just might be surprised how the Universe or God will react if we are grateful for even the bad. It’s the bad that urges us to grow.

Today’s a new day. Make it what you want!

Write, write

Ok, so I just signed up to write a novel in November.  Hmm. It has taken me a whole year to write out the one I have and I am now committing to doing another in a month?  Crazy I know.  The thing is, if I write without any sort of judgment, perhaps there will be some pieces and parts that I can eke out and turn into something great.  Another thing about it is that I am actually doing this with perhaps a hundred thousand other people.  

What will it be about?  That’s the catch: The site urges you to write! That’s it!  Without regard to any of the things that hold you up.  It’s called NaNoWriMo.  National Novel Writing Month.  Some even get published at the end.  No time to think, just to write.  This should be fun!